A Tribute to Puteri Nur Atiqah

Kakak with her birthday card from Tok Wan, Wan, Pak De & Pak Tam

I'm writing this post as I watch my dear daughter sleeps. Her face so serene...so relax...so smooth and so young. She's just 4 years old but I feel like she's already 7. Not that I want her to grow up too fast, but because of her maturity. Her thoughts, the words that she'd sometimes say and her actions...surprised me a lot. And the way she shows her love to me, to her father and younger brother...one would think that yes, she's already 7 years old.

Kakak saying her doa after Maghrib prayer earlier today

Even her baby sitter said that she's matured compared to her age. Even though she would show her younger self sometimes, most of the time she is that 'elder daughter' and 'older sister'. "God, please give Ummi lots of money"... she prayed once, after she followed me for a Maghrib prayer. I've never taught her to say those. "Ummi, janganlah nangis. Sudahlah tu (Ummi, please don't cry anymore)," she coaxed me if I cry. Then she would come and hug me and kiss me and tell me that she loves me. Nowadays, if I scolded her younger brother, she would go and coax him. And the brother actually looked up to her as a protector. Sometimes he just couldn't stand her 'cause she'd become so protective.

Kakak & Adik at Jusco. Adik hates it when he has to hold hands with Kakak 'cause he has his own mind & direction.

Once, we were at the parking lot of a shopping mall. She held her hand up to her father but he shrugged her off. Then she quipped "Lah...kakak bukan nak mintak duit, kakak nak pegang tangan papa, nak lintas jalan (I wasn't asking for money, I wanted to hold your hand to cross the road)".

Kakak & Adik on the day she turned 3 yrs old...Rarely cud get them to snap photo together

Everyday, she would remind me if I didn't hug and kiss her. She'd also remind me if I forgot to kiss her father / kiss his hand when we wanted to go out. She's full of love. She loves to play with smaller kids and she'd treat them like her younger sister / brother. She can mix with a lot people...regardless of their race. I've watched her many a times at the playground. It's so easy for her to make friends. But she couldn't stand rough kids. She'd stay away from them.

Adik wanting to share the limelight. Kakak posing with her birthday card.

She's the little helper in the house. Even at 4 years old, she wanted to help me with a lot of things...even up to 'dragging down' the heavy dirty laundry basket from upstairs. She'd always wanted to hang her own clothes or took them down. She'd also wanted to help me fold the clothes..which after she folded them, she'd throw them back at me and asked me to complete the task! And she'd also instruct the brother to help her sometimes. If we're going out, hers would be the 'busiest' mouth...chattering non-stop ensuring the lights are switched off, the doors are shut, the Ummi wears tudung, the Ummi takes her handbag, the Papa takes the car keys...bla...bla...bla...Then she'd open the door for the brother & closed it after him (much to the annoyance of the brother, 'cause he'd always wanted to close the door himself).

This undated photo was taken by Pak Long Amri. It was last year.

And as I'm watching her asleep now, I'm sure she'll grow up to be a wonderful lady...whose heart is full of love for God, for the people, for nature and for the animals..no matter how small they are. And I'm sure she'll receive a lot of love back. I dreaded the days when I won't be there for her when she's having her first menstruation...or when she's having her first crush on a boy...or to congratulate her when she managed to do great in school be it in academics, sports or co-curriculum activities. And I dreaded the days when I won't be there for her when she wants to choose what Course to take for her higher education(I don't care what Course, most importantly she knows how to survive in her life and that is by having the ability to think & by having the entrepreneurial skills). I'm sure I won't be there for her when she finally finds her soulmate...and when she's walking towards the altar...or when she's pregnant...or when she's having a baby (my grandchild). But I'm sure going to save all these postings for her to read when she grows up and when I'm no longer around.

A good time with Ummi at home

So I'm writing this tribute for my lovely daughter Puteri Nur Atiqah whose name represents light of the chosen one (cahaya yang terpilih), as an epilogue. To send out the message to her in years to come that I will always love her and that no other love is greater than mine, except for the AlMighty's.

I love you, Kakak. Now and forever.

Yours Lovingly,

Ummi