You Will Get What You Wished For

When I started working back in 1991, my first pay was only RM800. I envied my friends who earned RM1200 - RM1500 then. When my elder brother got back from the UKs and started working, he earned almost RM8,000. So I wished that one day I would earn RM10,000. 19 years later, I got what I wished for. My last drawn salary was RM10,600. But I quit the job!

Those days, my only wish was to have my own house and a car. My first car was a CLK (Cute Little Kancil), that I bought after working for 5 years. I bought my first house after working for about 10 years.

When I was in my early twenties and already working, most of my lady colleagues got hitched between 22 - 25 years of age. So people started to ask me "When are you getting married?". I told them that "There are still a lot of things I wanted to achieve in life. Marriage is the last thing on my mind right now". So I got married when I was 35 years old. By then, I've already travelled to all the 12 States in Malaysia (save for Sarawak), I've had a great time jungle trekking and been up to Mt. Kinabalu; I was already a successful worker, I have my own house and my own car.

But there were frustrations and heartbreaks over the years that made me think, why didn't I get what I wanted? I wanted to marry my ex-boyfriend but finally I got ditched. I wanted to buy an apartment somewhere in Subang Jaya but finally I bought a landed property in Gelang Patah, Johor. I wanted to be one of the first ladies to hold an important position in a port, but I ended up leaving the port industry to become a housemaker.

After much thoughts, I figured that we don't always get what we want...but we'll get what we wished for.

So if any one of you wanted to marry Prince William...dream on. You'll never get it. Well...you could. But the odds are...you won't! But if you wish to marry a Prince or someone with loads of money...God willing, you will. Wish for a luxury car. God willing, you'll get either a BMW Sport, a Mercedes Benz, a Volvo or a Porsche. But if you wish for a BMW X5...you might not get it and you'll get frustrated. Wish for a house. God willing, you'll get either a bangalow, an intermediate terrace, a semi-D or a condo.

If you want to get married, wish for a good guy who would love you like nobody else would love you. God willing, you will get the all-in-one package - a handsome, well-off and a good, lovable guy. If you wish for a handsome man, you might get one who is penniless or a hooligan or even worse, a playboy! If you wish for a rich man, you might get one who is bald and bulky. Haha.

Get it?

An Email Affair

He was sitting in front of the PC, logged-on to his email as usual. 'No unread email' it says. He was frustrated. The Inbox is silent nowadays. All the emails that he sent earlier were not responded to. He began to wonder. 'What is happening? Has she gotten tired of him? Is she okay? Is she too busy?'...He was flabbergasted.

Two months before that, he stumbled upon an email from a 'Rosy Cheek'. That email contained a poem, a beautiful poem that touched his heart. Was it originally written by 'Rosy Cheek'? He wondered.

'Hi!' he replied.

'Hello' she responded.

'I read your poem' he wrote.

'Oh yeah? Did you like it?' she asked.

'Yes. I wonder...did you write it yourself?' he asked.

'Mmm...I guess I did' she replied.

And from then on, they became online friends. Or acquaintances, for that matter. Every night, without fail. It was like having a glass of warm milk before sleep. If, he didn't receive her email before he went to sleep, he would find it difficult to shut his eyes. Restless. And every once in a while he would get up to check his email. Until at last he would receive something like 'Good night. Sleep tight and sweet dreams'. Then he would respond and doze off to a sweet slumber.

'Hi! How are you doing?' Rosy Cheek wrote, one day.

'Hi! I've been quite busy with my assignments lately. How are you doing?' he replied.

'As usual. Are you still studying?' Rosy Cheek asked.

'Part-time. What are you doing?' he asked.

'Stuff. Nothing much' Rosy Cheek replied.

She just won't respond to his questions on her personal life. He didn't even know if she is a 'she' or a 'he'. But it sounded like a 'she' indeed. For the past two months, he's been waiting for her emails. Not only at night, but in the morning too. Before dashing off to the office, that would be the first thing he'd do, as part of his routine. Checking on the email.

'Good morning! It's bright and sunny...Have a great day!' she would say.

Sometimes, she would send him an email in the afternoon. Sometimes, she would send him more than one email at once. Sometimes she would ask him questions, sometimes she would tell him a bit of what she was doing then, sometimes she would send him a funny story or a funny cartoon strip. He would always look forward to her emails. They made him smile. They made him feel at ease. She made him feel like he belonged to someone.

'I wonder if you are okay. It's been a while since I last receive your email' he wrote to her once, a few weeks ago. She's been quiet for a few days.

'Why, do you miss me?' she replied cheekily.

He smiled and responded 'Mmm...a bit'. Then he laughed.

'Haha. You must be lonely' she answered.

'Not anymore, since I have you' he responded. How very true, that is.

Then it was quiet.

'Are you still there?' he asked.

'Yes' was her reply.

'Are you offended?' he asked.

'No. I'm touched' she replied.

'I wonder...are you still single or are you married?' he asked.

'Which do you think?' she asked him back.

He was quiet for a while then he typed 'Single'.

'Hihihi....you are a good guesser'.

Thinking of those small conversations, made him smile. But he would still wonder. It's been two weeks. He became restless. Even at the office, he couldn't keep his mind off of her. What was going on?

'Sometimes when we feel lonely, we can hear our own heart beating. Have you ever experienced that?' she asked him, one day.

'Are you feeling lonely now?' he asked her back.

'Sometimes it is good to be lonely. Sometimes it is sad' she replied.

'When you are sad, it will rain heavily. Please don't be sad' he responded. That will make her smile, he hoped.

'Hahaha. You are joking. But I like that. Thank you', she answered.

Again, he couldn't help smiling at himself. Days on end, he would browse through all their emails and smile at every funny email. Frowning at a few of the seemingly sad emails. What is it that she was going through? He wished that he could reach out to her. That night, he went off to bed as he did for the past two weeks...wondering. And he kept his email on, the whole night.

First thing in the morning he woke up, clambered off from bed and dashed off to his PC.

'1 unread email'. He was exhilarated! Quickly, he clicked on the icon. Ohh...please hurry up!

'Dear Cyber Rex, I am sorry to inform you that Rosy Cheek passed away last Friday. She was suffering from lung cancer. I'm sorry for this belated email. We are still in mourning. I know you are one of her best online friend. She always tell me about you, though not very much. Thank you, for being a good friend to her. - her sister'.

He was dumbfounded. Dead? Gone? Forever? He could feel his whole life is tumbling down. Rosy Cheek has been like a sunshine to his life for the past two months. He had never met her, Never knew who she was. But he felt close to her. And now, she's gone. He would receive no more emails from her. He would have nothing to look forward to, anymore. He felt helpless, at the same time, lost.

His email affair had ended. Abruptly, it seems.

Enjoy Those Moments

Do you realise that when most of the time we are just too busy with our work...and sometimes family...some other times, friends; we tend to forget ourselves? With the amount of responsibility and accountability, we forgot how to have 'fun'? So, sometimes you'd find someone whom you used to know as being happy-go-lucky and humorous has now become a 'grouch'. He/she become serious, can't even laugh at a simple joke and in return, he/she thinks that you are making fun of him/her.

Having fun doesn't mean you have to go out to the Clubs and dance the night along...or go for karaoke and croak your throat out...or you have to go to the circus and laugh at the clowns. Having fun in the smallest way could be being amused at those things that happen around you...that could make you smile, the least. You know, for example like hearing your co-workers laughing at some stupid remarks; or listening to your boss talking about something that doesn't seem to make any sense to you; or simply by watching how rushing people are when it's time to go home after office hours.

But of course, those are just a few examples; for those working. In life, there are a lot of things that could amuse you...only and unless you would just sit back and relax...and take them in.

Like what? Those happenings that would make you smile, once in a while. You know...like for me, these are some of the things that would make me smile and gives me the feeling of comfort even for a little while:

• Listening to my daughter sing a song in her own tune;
• Watching my son playing and talking to himself;
• The smell of rain;
• The feel of evening breeze;
• The sound of water coming from the bath in the middle of a hot afternoon;
• The light from houses that I would see when I pass them by in the middle of the night or the wee hour of morning, 'cause it gives me the feeling that the inhabitants are safe and secured in their home;
• The feel of grass under my bare feet;
• The sound of Azaan; and last but not least
• The cooling water whenever I take the ablution.

So...just sit back and relax and enjoy those moments that would make you smile and that would give you the comfort; even for a little while.

There's Light At The End Of The Tunnel

I'm going through this tunnel alone. It seems very long and dark. But I'm sure...if I keep on going, I will reach the end sooner or later. Even though I have to grope around and crawl on all fours to seek my way out, I can't give up. I'll never give up. There's light at the end of the tunnel; I can feel it.

There are times when I have to make a decision that will make me compromise my principles and that will make me swallow my pride. I will always go by my instincts nowadays. I don't know what lies ahead and I don't know if I'm making the right or wrong decision. But I have to decide. What will you do, if you are in my position? What will you do, if you don't have any other means to help you make a decision but your own? You'll have to go by your instincts, what you 'think' you have to do at that point of time.

As for me, I will decide whether to cross the bridge or not, only when I came to it...not before.

In this case, I'll go for what Donald Trump says in his book 'Think Big" :

1. You are on your own. You have to be able to bend but never break.

2. You must become very good at finding creative solutions to what appear to be impossible problems.

3. You have to put in long hours and face enormous challenges to be successful.

4. You have to look out for yourself and your attitude is the key to surviving a setback.

5. Never take your eye off the ball (in which I think it should be 'never take your eye off the goal).

6. if you want to be successful in life, you have to be able to handle pressure.

7. With every action you take and every task you complete you are building momentum. To keep momentum, keep challenging yourself.

8. Never give up on yourself.

9. Time is on your side; things do not continue downward forever.

10. Learn from mistakes but never let them take you down.

I hope, you will learn as much from the above as well.