This is a continuation to the post that I wrote back in 2015 (click to read):-
2017 is going to an end in about two and a half month's time. Reflecting on my life the past 7 years, this is to summarise it:
2010 - Anger & Frustration
2011 - Repentance
2012 & 2013 - Sadness
2014 - Trying Hard To Forget
2015 - Peace & Coming Home
2016 - Hope
2017 - Development
This year, I've developed myself to overcome the grieve following my brother's passing. At the same time I've developed myself in a few new areas, especially at work.
My wish for 2018 - it's going to be a year of New Beginning. Insya Allah.
Tuesday 17 October 2017
Monday 16 October 2017
A Pinch On The Arm
I'd consider this as a low point in my life. Not as low as I used to be...but the "sinking" feeling is there. No, I don't like this situation. Not at all.
It makes me feel HELPLESS.
I can't breathe properly. That makes it difficult to walk. I'd cough every time I take a breath. After every cough, I'd feel breathless. Its the spasm, as the Doctor said. It makes the bronchial in my lungs constricted, thus restricting air flow. To add to this 'situation' my daughter is having chicken pox! So she's confined at home. Luckily it's school holiday for the week.
It keeps me thinking....did I 'invite' all these into my life? Probably I did. Subconsciously. Who knows?
Since I had that small talk with Lina a few weeks back, I started to think back to what I had been planning a few years back. I've made a very good Life Plan, the most comprehensive plan I've ever done in my whole life! It covers almost every aspect, concisely.
How much time have I wasted? How far have I gone astray from my plans? How could I have forgotten? How could I become easily distracted?
I dawned on me that my focus has shifted since I started working. I am now living the life of others, than my own. Of course, I need the money to settle all my debts. But I'm not supposed to forget what I have planned. I'm supposed to follow through with the plans on weekly and monthly basis. I've neglected the most important person in my life ever since then. ME!
This illness could be a reminder from the AlMighty. Like a pinch on the arm. So that I'd turn around and keep stock of what I have done and what I have missed. Probably He was trying to tell me that I should retrace my steps. Go back to what I have planned before.
Ironically, I bought a book from Amazon which I received last week. It's a book written by a friend I met at Success Resources programs. The Way of Achievers, by Maitha J. Al Shamsi. In the first few pages, she wrote "I have seen people get sick due to work pressure which creates all kind of health issues and disease". That kind of alerted me. In the Chapter that follows, she gave a step-by-step process on creating vision. This book was like taking me back in time.
Sure. I believe the Universe is trying to tell me something. This low point that I am experiencing was indeed my own fault. I didn't follow through with my plans. So what should I do now?
The wisest move is to turn back and retrace.
It makes me feel HELPLESS.
I can't breathe properly. That makes it difficult to walk. I'd cough every time I take a breath. After every cough, I'd feel breathless. Its the spasm, as the Doctor said. It makes the bronchial in my lungs constricted, thus restricting air flow. To add to this 'situation' my daughter is having chicken pox! So she's confined at home. Luckily it's school holiday for the week.
It keeps me thinking....did I 'invite' all these into my life? Probably I did. Subconsciously. Who knows?
Since I had that small talk with Lina a few weeks back, I started to think back to what I had been planning a few years back. I've made a very good Life Plan, the most comprehensive plan I've ever done in my whole life! It covers almost every aspect, concisely.
How much time have I wasted? How far have I gone astray from my plans? How could I have forgotten? How could I become easily distracted?
I dawned on me that my focus has shifted since I started working. I am now living the life of others, than my own. Of course, I need the money to settle all my debts. But I'm not supposed to forget what I have planned. I'm supposed to follow through with the plans on weekly and monthly basis. I've neglected the most important person in my life ever since then. ME!
This illness could be a reminder from the AlMighty. Like a pinch on the arm. So that I'd turn around and keep stock of what I have done and what I have missed. Probably He was trying to tell me that I should retrace my steps. Go back to what I have planned before.
Ironically, I bought a book from Amazon which I received last week. It's a book written by a friend I met at Success Resources programs. The Way of Achievers, by Maitha J. Al Shamsi. In the first few pages, she wrote "I have seen people get sick due to work pressure which creates all kind of health issues and disease". That kind of alerted me. In the Chapter that follows, she gave a step-by-step process on creating vision. This book was like taking me back in time.
Sure. I believe the Universe is trying to tell me something. This low point that I am experiencing was indeed my own fault. I didn't follow through with my plans. So what should I do now?
The wisest move is to turn back and retrace.
What Matters Most
I was hospitalised in August, after having a bad cough for a few days. Luckily it wasn't tuberculosis or anything serious. It was first diagnosed as bronchitis. After a few round of tests, the Specialist finally diagnosed me as having 'Cough-Variant' Asthma. She said was a rare kind of asthma. Hardly found in any of her patients. So she considered my condition as unusual, in a special kind of way.
I was warded for four days and given the next week off. At the time of discharge I knew I was still unwell. Even after the week's off and when I got back to work, I was still coughing and wheezing. I had a hard time sleeping at night. Started to snore. I've never snored!
When I had to see the Doctor again for follow-up check, she found that my coughing had worsened and she admitted me again. Wow! Hospitalised again! She was actually at lost with what kind of treatment should be given to me. For she had given me the best and the strongest of medicines. For the second time, I was warded for five days. When I was discharged, I felt a little bit better.
This morning, I went to the Doctor. For follow-up check again. But also because I had an asthma attack on Friday, three days ago. The Doctor told me that my condition is chronic. She told me that she had given me the best treatment and I took the medications (particularly the inhaler) according to her prescriptions. The only thing that could have made my condition worsened was the triggering factor. After discussing about it, we came to a conclusion that my asthma can be triggered by cold environment. Air-conditioned room / car, rain, fan. Rainy season is definitely not my good friend. When it rains in the night, I'll catch this big A in the morning. Most of the time.
I could also get it easily when I'm having flu. The mucus will block my nostrils and my air passageway, making it difficult to breathe. That'll create spasms in the lungs, thus creating 'ronchi' as the Doctor told me.
This coughing, I've actually had it for a long long time. I knew that I'm an asthmatic. My panel doctors know that I'm asthmatic. But I didn't know that there is such a specific name for it. And according to the Specialist, this kind of asthma cannot be easily identified. Not many Doctors would have given the correct diagnose. So I consider myself lucky for having met with this Specialist.
When you're having health problems that leaves you choking for breath every time it occurs, you'll start thinking if this is the last breath. It'll make you feel even worse when you have kids and work to worry about. At this point of time, I'd say that health is more valuable than any amount of money and materials that we have in this world.
HEALTH is all that matters.
I was warded for four days and given the next week off. At the time of discharge I knew I was still unwell. Even after the week's off and when I got back to work, I was still coughing and wheezing. I had a hard time sleeping at night. Started to snore. I've never snored!
When I had to see the Doctor again for follow-up check, she found that my coughing had worsened and she admitted me again. Wow! Hospitalised again! She was actually at lost with what kind of treatment should be given to me. For she had given me the best and the strongest of medicines. For the second time, I was warded for five days. When I was discharged, I felt a little bit better.
This morning, I went to the Doctor. For follow-up check again. But also because I had an asthma attack on Friday, three days ago. The Doctor told me that my condition is chronic. She told me that she had given me the best treatment and I took the medications (particularly the inhaler) according to her prescriptions. The only thing that could have made my condition worsened was the triggering factor. After discussing about it, we came to a conclusion that my asthma can be triggered by cold environment. Air-conditioned room / car, rain, fan. Rainy season is definitely not my good friend. When it rains in the night, I'll catch this big A in the morning. Most of the time.
I could also get it easily when I'm having flu. The mucus will block my nostrils and my air passageway, making it difficult to breathe. That'll create spasms in the lungs, thus creating 'ronchi' as the Doctor told me.
This coughing, I've actually had it for a long long time. I knew that I'm an asthmatic. My panel doctors know that I'm asthmatic. But I didn't know that there is such a specific name for it. And according to the Specialist, this kind of asthma cannot be easily identified. Not many Doctors would have given the correct diagnose. So I consider myself lucky for having met with this Specialist.
When you're having health problems that leaves you choking for breath every time it occurs, you'll start thinking if this is the last breath. It'll make you feel even worse when you have kids and work to worry about. At this point of time, I'd say that health is more valuable than any amount of money and materials that we have in this world.
HEALTH is all that matters.
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