Don't Be Sad

One of the things that I was 'asked' to do was to sell this book Don't Be Sad by Dr. 'Aidh Al-Qarni; the English version. You don't get that many in the bookstores here. But you'll get the Malay version in abundance. I found this English version easier to read and understand. So I order 10 copies from the publisher, International Islamic Publishing House, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.

For the past 1 month, I have sold them off. Alhamdulillah. Now I am in the midst of drafting a Sales Page for my website. I've managed to complete it except for the charges. I am contemplating whether to sell it to the domestic market or the international market. Now...waiting for the 'sign'.

Insya-Allah. Everything will be okay, Zade. Have faith, luv.

The Heart of the Matter

And fate has it that a friend posted this song to his facebook which lyrics touched my heart. Among others, it says:

"...I'm learning to live without you now, but I miss you sometime. The more I know the less I understand. All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again. I've been trying to get down, to the heart of the matter but my will gets weak and my thoughts seem to scatter. but I think it's about forgiveness...Forgiveness. Even if, even if you don't love me anymore".

It was a song sung by Don Henley, from Eagles.

And so I thank God for giving me yet another chance to make good out of this hardship. I'm grateful that He has always given me the sign to take the right path...and avoid me from going astray. Thank you, God. You are the Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

What it's all about, actually

A few nights ago...while I frantically tried to get over my feelings and my hurt, I received this 'sign' that in order for me to let go of the past, I have to learn how to FORGIVE.

Indeed, when I started to think about it, I would agree that all the while I have keeping this anger inside me. I've been revengeful in my acts and I've been keeping this grudge over the past dwellings. Imagine that...I have been carrying it for 10 years! So how could I ever forget this one person...? I was touched when I receive this message, at about 3.00am :

"I'm far from angry with you, you must know that. Whatever happened, happened. It saddens me to see you like this, a lot, and I don't know how to fix it. But I'm old, I feel so old and the past is catching up fast and I'm drowning in a river of guilts. I must not make it worst than it already is. So what do you want me to do? You know 'we' can't work, we'd be fighting everyday. Friends? Can you really handle it? You must. Or I can't handle you. I'm so sorry and I'm tired of saying it...Please help me to help you...Please get over me and let me be a friend again".

At first, there are a few things in that message that turned me off and i wanted to lash it out. But when I started thinking about it..I realised that whatever I said, whatever I would do, things would never be the same again. The past has gone and it would never come back. So I came to this one conclusion...I have to forgive. Else I wouldn't be able even to be a friend because we have never started as friends; in the true sense of the word. How long would it take...it's entirely up to me.

Satu Perjalanan Yang Sukar

Dah banyak kali dengar orang kata "things happen for a reason" (sesuatu tu berlaku ada sebabnya) so kita ni kena lupakan dan teruskan hidup. Kalaulah nak melupakan tu senang macam yang dikata...tak adalah orang yang sakit jiwa & mental dalam dunia ni.

Memanglah, sebagai seorang Islam kita WAJIB percaya pada Qada' & Qadar. Kita juga WAJIB percaya pada Takdir. Tapi kita ni manusia je apa... Bukan senang nak terima especially kalau hati dan perasaan kita tu dah terluka dalam giler. Tambah pulak benda tu yang bertahun2 berlalu tetiba je muncul semula. Ibarat kata orang "luka lama berdarah kembali". Kalau boleh ambik Handyplas tampal pada luka tu, senanglah cerita...uuuu...memang senang.

Tapi ada dua perkara je yang aku pikirkan skang ni:
1. Aku boleh teruskan menjeruk hati dan perasaan sampai aku jatuh sakit & mati dengan kedukaan ni;
2. Aku bangkit, teruskan hidup sampai aku berjaya supaya aku dapatkan buktikan yang aku boleh hidup dengan kedukaan ini.

Sebagai seorang yang rasional, aku akan ambil langkah yang ke-2. Aku harap dan doakan semoga Allah SWT akan memberi aku kekuatan untuk aku menyembuhkan hati aku ni dari segala kesedihan dan kedukaan.