Self Worth

I've never thought about my self worth before. I've been working for other people since I was 21 years old, after being unemployed for three months upon my graduation.

I started out as an Officer, because the company wanted to "test me out". My salary then was only RM800. I didn't mind, so long as I was given the opportunity to work. My first task was to do filing. Lots and lots and lots of Bills of Lading. The staff was too busy with their daily chores that they didn't have the time to file all the copies. I did that, for almost a month.

Then the Business Development Manager, who recruited me, wanted me to work on some Standard Operating Procedure (SOP) for the Documentation Department. I worked on that for a few months, compiled everything and showed it to him. He was quite impressed (I guess, because not long after I was promoted to Executive even though my probation period wasn't over yet). Then I got a raise. I think it was about RM1200. From then on, I developed myself horizontally. Meaning, I worked as an Executive but in different fields. During my tenure with the first company, they gave me a lot of opportunity to learn other things apart from my core function as a Documentation Executive. I was tasked to handle cargo claims and also reporting.

After about 11 years, when I was in a different company, I was promoted to a Managerial level. I remained as a Manager for almost 14 years. Again, in different functions. Still, I couldn't value my self worth. Because I was working for other people.

In December 2010 I went to this seminar called the Millionaire Mind Intensive (MMI), which is one of T. Harv Eker's signature programs. I became enthralled by the seminar so I signed up for their 'Quantum Leap' program. That entitled me to five other training programs. I'm telling you that the way they conducted all their trainings are so much different from the 'conventional' trainings aka 'classroom' trainings. After 4 years being in and out of their programs, I finally realised that my self worth is much much higher than I could ever imagined. But of course, all the experiences and trainings that I was put through in all those years working for others did add to the value.

This is my take about self worth:
When we work for other people, we are working under the 'direction' of others i.e. our immediate Superior, the Management and the Company as a whole. So we don't have the privilege to set our own dreams. Even the goals that we have to achieve, the KPIs that we set on monthly or yearly basis, are the goals set by the Company. Is it true or true?

At the same time, we are also confined to the 'mercy' of the Company. How much increment we will get, what kind of promotion, how much is the bonus, how far up can we go, et cetra, et cetra. We don't really have the opportunity to explore our own journey. Everything was already set for us. So even when we think that we have done our best or that we have 'sacrifice' our time and effort for the company, we might not get the promotion that we've been dreaming of just because the Company decided we are not fit to be upgraded. Even when we have worked the entire year without taking any medical leave or annual leave, we still didn't get that maximum bonus because the Company "said so". Or maybe because the Superior didn't like us or couldn't stand our guts. I mean, these things do happen. Can you relate to what I'm saying here?

So our self worth is determined by the amount of salary that we get every month. With the stress, the lesser time we have to spend with our loved ones and the small percentage that we actually got from the pay to spend on luxury items for ourselves, decreases our self worth even more. Sometimes, when we get frustrated with the way the Company treated us, we tend to rebel or look for a job in other Companies just to find that they are all the same. How many of you have felt and done this before? Well, I did, too.

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If you ask me what did I get out of the training programs that I've been to, my answer is "I've finally found my self worth". I can't tell you the benefits that I've reaped in terms of Ringgit and Sen (because I did not take massive actions after each trainings and I've just started doing that since October last year), but I can tell you that I have managed to find myself and realise that I can do much more than what I have done before. I can't quantify that. Its priceless. Totally priceless. I love and appreciate myself more compared to the last 25 years. I began to pursue those dreams that I've dreamt before but too scared to make the move. I finally worked on my Life Plan. Seriously worked on it and followed through with it every single day. I only have 5 years to make my Vision a reality. But as people are saying "It's never too late".

I now know that I have what it takes to achieve my dreams. I will do whatever it takes to fulfill my dreams. Nobody can say that it is right or it is wrong, because these are my dreams.




My Life Plan - target for accomplishment in 5 years

My Apologies

I told you that I'm going to write about the camp that I went to, in September last year, right? Well, I've actually written about back in November 2014. You can read it at this link:

http://iamzade.blogspot.com/2014/11/the-leader-in-me.html

Celebrate!!

I went to a training camp in September of 2014. It was a 5-days' camp. I'll tell you all about it in my next post, tomorrow.

All in all, I realised that the one thing missing from most of our lives is to celebrate every little achievement. We'd usually celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, engagements and such. But we failed to celebrate the small little achievements on daily basis.

I'm now teaching my kids to celebrate their achievements, every day. How do we celebrate? Well, we will get into a circle, put our hand on each other's shoulder and jump up and down while shouting "Yay!!". There is a reason why we do that. I'll tell you in the post about that camp, tomorrow.

For the past three days, I'm celebrating the achievements of my headscarf sales. Only one, per day. But that is a big thing for me. So I celebrated all the three wins, tonight. I even wrote them down in my journal.

Why don't you start to celebrate your wins?

Let It Go

Hi there! It's been a while since I updated this Blog. I've been quite busy offlate. Just managed to settle down this week.

As I'm writing this, I'm waiting for my kids to come home from school. We have moved back to JB, a town in the State of Johor which is located in the south of West Malaysia, since December 2014. The kids are in a new school now.

Since I came back here, my objective is to let go of the past. The past few years have been sad years for me, with the passing of my parents. I have actually been living with sadness for the past 20 years or so. Due to the heartbreaks and frustrations. And I think I have wasted much of my energy reliving the past, carrying the baggage for over 20 years. So now is a good time to let go.

So when I came back, after a few weeks I settled down and managed to arrange for the kids' transfer. Then I started to work on clearing a particular room in this house. I ended up spending almost three weeks rummaging, sorting and rearranging the stuffs I had. My oh my...some of them dated back to 1996! That's how long ago a baggage I've been carrying. I threw a lot of stuffs away. Even though some of them were books compiled by my Dad. Not that I don't treasure his gifts, but I intend to move on. So I threw away a lot of those. Finally, this room is ready for me to use as our study and also a little library. I definitely have more books now. And my objective is to complete reading all of them, at least one book a month.

Til then.