When Friends Become Strangers

I used to consider myself a loner, when I was in high school. I did have friends then, but not close friends la. So I'd rather be by myself. That's how I ended up becoming a thinker...an observer. Heh. Anyway, I am who I am now, most of it I owed it to my friends; those few that I have for so long. Yeah...I don't have that many friends. But those I have, I treasure very much, you know. Some of them have been with me since high school, some since I was in college and some when I started working.

These are some of my ex-collegemates. With a few of them, this was our first meeting after 19 years.

Friends, to me, are those who would go through thick and thin with me. Those who would understand me and accept me for who I am. I'd consider them close if they are willing to tell me what I've done wrong and how I could have done it right. So that's why I only have a few of them out there. No heart feelings. This is a fact. And I know that I'm no one's best friend either. This is a fact too.

This is my closest. And we started out as strangers, about 26 years ago.

These are a few of my good buddies. We went back 24 years together.

It's rather easy for strangers to become friends, if you are a friendly person. It's rather easy for friends to become strangers too. Like what I'm experiencing now, with this long-time friend of mine. It's a sad thing. Very sad. Because I treasure my friends so much that I'd hate it when I lose any one of them (since I don't have that many, losing any one of them would reduce the statistics further down now, would it?).

How did it all started? Well, it all started when I fell in love with him. A long time ago. Then we split...and then we met, again....then we split. Again. His married. I'm married. That is mutually understandable. He doesn't want to see me anymore (for obvious reasons) and that's still okay with me. But he doesn't even call. Doesn't even texted (SMS lah) and doesn't even respond to my texts. To me, it's more like I became a stranger to him, rather than the other way around. Or so...perhaps. And it hurts. Very much.

And I wanted to be his friend again, so much, you know. 'Cause I still care and I'm still concerned. But I think that's not gonna happen now. Why? Well, simply because things have happened, words have been spoken, hearts have been broken. And all those cannot be undone. Perhaps he knew that. So that's why he cannot accept me as a friend anymore. Or maybe because we've never started as friends. Or maybe because I came on too strong. Or maybe because we were never meant to be...Not even as friends. Or maybe because our circumstances won't permit us to continue our friendship.

And I know, I can't force anyone to like me...let alone to love me...or even to accept me as a friend. So, sadly...indeed...I'll just have to let him go then. I'll always wish for him all the best in his life, his career, his marriage and his friendships. What more can a friend (or an ex-friend) do?

Here's saying...it's been a pleasure knowing you (and you know who you are, man).