Tribute to My Father

Father's Day was here, yesterday. Every year, like any other special occasions, I'd be scratching my head trying to figure out what's the best gift to give to my father. I might not be able to give him anything this year since I am financially 'disabled' for the time being. So this shall be my gift to him. This posting, specially dedicated to my beloved father.

He is whom I call "Abah". One who used to be the disciplinarian in the family. Maybe because he was a teacher; the eldest of 10 siblings; had experienced hardships during his children days; or maybe he'd always wanted us to uphold the family name. I would never forget those early years when me and my elder brother were summoned to his bedroom, stood in front of him with our hands at the back and explained to him what we thought we did wrong that day. We could not lie to him 'cause Mak had already told him everything. He just needed to hear it from us. Once we agreed that what we did was wrong, we had to put out a palm and 'smack!' would he went with a wooden ruler. It was painful.

Abah was usually quiet but when he speaks, it's like an autonomy. Once he said "No" that means No. My elder brother got away early when he went off to boarding school after Standard Six. I had to endure the disciplines throughout my whole teenage life. It seemed to be too much for me. No after-school activities except academics, no joining the Scouts, no joining the Hockey team, no school dinners or functions, not even a school tour! Always have to come back home before 7.00ap.m.. I couldn't even go to town without my younger brother(s) as my escorts, even to my grandparents' house. I always felt like running away from home then.



The first time I ever get to stay away from home was when I was accepted to study Business Administration (Transport) in ITM (now UiTM). During the first few weeks, I rushed back from class every day to ensure that I got back to the hostel before 7pm because I imagined my father's face in front of the hostel door, waiting for me! That's how much influence he put on me...(or brainwashed?). But after all that, I was very much grateful because I became cautious and later, a thoughtful adult. I realised now that he did all that to protect me from the reality of life.

When his mother was hosipitalised, Abah was there keeping vigil at all times. Then, he told me that his mother sacrificed a lot for him during his school days. He was one of the earlier malay students accepted to further study in an English school. But due to financial difficulties, his father couldn't afford to send him there. But his mother insisted. So she'd make nasi lemak & kuih-kuih (delicacies) in order to raise money until at last he managed to go to that English school and managed to obtain his HSE Certificate. He'd do odd part-time jobs along with his younger brothers to get some pocket money. So when he finally graduated from College and started to teach, he helped to finance his younger siblings until they managed to find their own jobs. He had once told my younger brothers that even though he's not financially well-off, he'd try to fulfill anything that they wanted. And I couldn't but agree with that more.

When I was in secondary school, I'd always get presents from my parents for doing well in my studies. I'd also get presents for my brithdays. I knew it wasn't easy for them to finance my studies in ITM but somehow they managed to. They had to borrow from their siblings, financial institutions and also the Teacher's Cooperation. Loans, that they had to bear until after my graduation. When I graduated, he didn't say anything. Not even "Congratulations". But I knew he was proud. So when I started working, I try as I might never to burden them again.

I learned a lot from my father's hardships and how he strived to ensure that my siblings and I got our education. And his disciplines had somehow influenced the way I'm raising my two kids now. But the biggest influence Abah had on me was definitely his passion for reading. Oh, he's never 'taught' me to read per se. Indirectly, he influenced me through the collection of books that he had at home. From the Malay epics to the full array of James Bond novels. Unknowingly, as I grew up, reading became my passion too. And now, at 68 years old, Abah is still an avid reader. He'd go nowhere without a book in his sling bag. He'd read anything from a book on religion to a book on self-motivation.


I hope he'll have the chance to read this tribute, as my gift to him on Father's Day. Though at times we might disagree...please remember that I'll always love you, Abah. You'd always have my fullest respect and regards. You'd done your very best to be a Great Dad...and now, a Grand Dad.

Your one and only daughter,

ADIK