A few nights ago...while I frantically tried to get over my feelings and my hurt, I received this 'sign' that in order for me to let go of the past, I have to learn how to FORGIVE.
Indeed, when I started to think about it, I would agree that all the while I have keeping this anger inside me. I've been revengeful in my acts and I've been keeping this grudge over the past dwellings. Imagine that...I have been carrying it for 10 years! So how could I ever forget this one person...? I was touched when I receive this message, at about 3.00am :
"I'm far from angry with you, you must know that. Whatever happened, happened. It saddens me to see you like this, a lot, and I don't know how to fix it. But I'm old, I feel so old and the past is catching up fast and I'm drowning in a river of guilts. I must not make it worst than it already is. So what do you want me to do? You know 'we' can't work, we'd be fighting everyday. Friends? Can you really handle it? You must. Or I can't handle you. I'm so sorry and I'm tired of saying it...Please help me to help you...Please get over me and let me be a friend again".
At first, there are a few things in that message that turned me off and i wanted to lash it out. But when I started thinking about it..I realised that whatever I said, whatever I would do, things would never be the same again. The past has gone and it would never come back. So I came to this one conclusion...I have to forgive. Else I wouldn't be able even to be a friend because we have never started as friends; in the true sense of the word. How long would it take...it's entirely up to me.
