Reflection #02

A few weeks ago a friend came to visit and stayed with us for two nights. She was from Singapore. One of our fellow Warriors. I didn't know her that well but somehow there is a connection between us and it made me feel comfortable when I'm around her.

So she came, partly because it was the Eid ul Adha. Partly because I needed her help with some healing.

I was just been discharged from the hospital two days before she came, due to bronchitis. The last time I was warded was in 2015. Somehow, I felt that my illness has nothing to do with my physical being. It was more of my mental and psychological. I was losing my way. I got lost along the way.My mind, my body and soul were fighting against each other. It made me confused. It made me sick.

Of course, there was the whole thing about my grieve to deal with.

On the second day she was here, Lina (that's her name), asked me if I wanted her to help me. So I said yeah, I do. She told me that my illness went way back to a couple of years and we have to deal with that first. We went through a few sessions of healing. I can't describe to you how and what it was. One has to experience it in order to understand.

She took off layer after layer of anger, frustration, blame, self-blame, etc and make them disappear. The most important ingredient in this healing process is that you have to be true to yourself. That is, if you really want to heal yourself from all those bad vibes.

After the sessions were completed, I felt 'lighter'. Like a 20-years of burden being lifted off my shoulders. I felt light and at the same time mersmerised. It was like..."Eh, what happened'? I didn't quite know what had hit me. But I suddenly began to realise that all those 'baggage' I have been carrying on my back have taken a toll on myself. Even though I've said it before that I have forgiven and let go, I think I have not fully did. And in those healing sessions, I did. Most importantly, I have forgiven MYSELF!

After Lina went home, I was still dazed. Seems like I have finally managed to put the past behind me. Not to forget, not to remember either, but to cherish.