Self Worth

I've never thought about my self worth before. I've been working for other people since I was 21 years old, after being unemployed for three months upon my graduation.

I started out as an Officer, because the company wanted to "test me out". My salary then was only RM800. I didn't mind, so long as I was given the opportunity to work. My first task was to do filing. Lots and lots and lots of Bills of Lading. The staff was too busy with their daily chores that they didn't have the time to file all the copies. I did that, for almost a month.

Then the Business Development Manager, who recruited me, wanted me to work on some Standard Operating Procedure (SOP) for the Documentation Department. I worked on that for a few months, compiled everything and showed it to him. He was quite impressed (I guess, because not long after I was promoted to Executive even though my probation period wasn't over yet). Then I got a raise. I think it was about RM1200. From then on, I developed myself horizontally. Meaning, I worked as an Executive but in different fields. During my tenure with the first company, they gave me a lot of opportunity to learn other things apart from my core function as a Documentation Executive. I was tasked to handle cargo claims and also reporting.

After about 11 years, when I was in a different company, I was promoted to a Managerial level. I remained as a Manager for almost 14 years. Again, in different functions. Still, I couldn't value my self worth. Because I was working for other people.

In December 2010 I went to this seminar called the Millionaire Mind Intensive (MMI), which is one of T. Harv Eker's signature programs. I became enthralled by the seminar so I signed up for their 'Quantum Leap' program. That entitled me to five other training programs. I'm telling you that the way they conducted all their trainings are so much different from the 'conventional' trainings aka 'classroom' trainings. After 4 years being in and out of their programs, I finally realised that my self worth is much much higher than I could ever imagined. But of course, all the experiences and trainings that I was put through in all those years working for others did add to the value.

This is my take about self worth:
When we work for other people, we are working under the 'direction' of others i.e. our immediate Superior, the Management and the Company as a whole. So we don't have the privilege to set our own dreams. Even the goals that we have to achieve, the KPIs that we set on monthly or yearly basis, are the goals set by the Company. Is it true or true?

At the same time, we are also confined to the 'mercy' of the Company. How much increment we will get, what kind of promotion, how much is the bonus, how far up can we go, et cetra, et cetra. We don't really have the opportunity to explore our own journey. Everything was already set for us. So even when we think that we have done our best or that we have 'sacrifice' our time and effort for the company, we might not get the promotion that we've been dreaming of just because the Company decided we are not fit to be upgraded. Even when we have worked the entire year without taking any medical leave or annual leave, we still didn't get that maximum bonus because the Company "said so". Or maybe because the Superior didn't like us or couldn't stand our guts. I mean, these things do happen. Can you relate to what I'm saying here?

So our self worth is determined by the amount of salary that we get every month. With the stress, the lesser time we have to spend with our loved ones and the small percentage that we actually got from the pay to spend on luxury items for ourselves, decreases our self worth even more. Sometimes, when we get frustrated with the way the Company treated us, we tend to rebel or look for a job in other Companies just to find that they are all the same. How many of you have felt and done this before? Well, I did, too.

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If you ask me what did I get out of the training programs that I've been to, my answer is "I've finally found my self worth". I can't tell you the benefits that I've reaped in terms of Ringgit and Sen (because I did not take massive actions after each trainings and I've just started doing that since October last year), but I can tell you that I have managed to find myself and realise that I can do much more than what I have done before. I can't quantify that. Its priceless. Totally priceless. I love and appreciate myself more compared to the last 25 years. I began to pursue those dreams that I've dreamt before but too scared to make the move. I finally worked on my Life Plan. Seriously worked on it and followed through with it every single day. I only have 5 years to make my Vision a reality. But as people are saying "It's never too late".

I now know that I have what it takes to achieve my dreams. I will do whatever it takes to fulfill my dreams. Nobody can say that it is right or it is wrong, because these are my dreams.




My Life Plan - target for accomplishment in 5 years

The Leader In Me

I am a second child. I grew up learning that a second child is best being a follower than a leader. Compared to first child whom they say are naturally born leaders. So I carried that picture throughout my life. I was never good at leading a team. I felt I was only good when I work alone and on my own. That’s what I was ingrained to believe.

 

Then I made a dash at attending this Ultimate Leadership Certification camp in September this year. It was a 5-days’ camp. I thought this is going to be a breakthrough for me. Or perhaps trying to prove myself that I am worthy of being a leader. That camp was so intense that I broke down on the third day. I couldn’t take it anymore. What’s the point? I didn’t think I fare very well with my teammates. I missed my kids terribly at that time. All I could think of was to pack up and leave. Then a dear friend of mine convinced me to stay on. I mean, I’ve actually learned this from the very beginning of my journey with Success Resources – that we don’t just GET to the finish line, we go THROUGH the finish line. So I stayed. By end of the camp, I got my certificate and I got something else too…my COURAGE.

 

Throughout the camp, I always have the same thought that I wasn’t good at being a leader. Never was. Never will. But they gave me a chance. Every once in a while in the activities, I was made to lead the team. The crux of the matter was not about the activity or the game itself but it was about how I conducted myself as a leader of the team. The moment I came back from the camp, the first thing I thought to myself was “To be a leader, I have to be able to lead myself first. So what was it that I’ve been wanting to do?”.  And that’s when I made the decision to quit from my job.

 

I’ve actually done the same feat back in 2010. But then, it was for the wrong reasons. I quit my job then, for the wrong reasons. And I wasn’t ready to take actions. Now I am confident that I made the right decision. I am ready to DO WHATEVER IT TAKES to succeed as a working-from-home mom.

 

I’m doing this for my family and I’m doing this for myself. I’ve been wanting to work on my own for ages but I didn’t have the guts to do so. Now is the chance. If I don’t do this now, I’ll never do it at all. I’ve invested a lot of money to build myself up. I’m not going to waste all that for doing nothing! I’m going to take charge of my own life from now on. I’m going to lead myself to success.

 

What ever the odds are, I will take it on. I pray that God will always give me the strength and the courage to keep moving on. Insya Allah.

  

-This article was published on Wordpress November 11, 2014.

 

Sacrifice, what?

A few years ago, I experienced a very difficult time in my life. I didn’t have a job yet I had so much financial commitments, too heavy a burden for my husband to carry alone. Day by day tension gripped our lives and the situation became worse. I had to borrow lots of money from family and friends just to ensure that the companies didn’t file bankruptcy against me. I became hostile towards my husband because I thought that he was unable to fend for us. When actually it was all my fault. My own doing.

 

When things got better and I was able to manage my financials, all of a sudden I was declared a bankrupt by a hire purchase company because the borrower defaulted his payment. I was the sole guarantor. It was a very frustrating episode. Very frustrating. To think that I had done all I could to avoid being made a bankrupt then suddenly I became one and it was not even my fault! I couldn’t accept it at first. I was frustrated. Angry. Furious! Especially at my husband. I didn’t tell anyone about it because I didn’t want my parents to know. Bankruptcy was a taboo for them. So I kept on praying for Allah to show me the way. To get me (get us) out of the situation. I had two options i.e. to pay a lump sum and clear my name before the other creditors found out OR to pay in monthly instalment for a certain period of time and let the other creditors found out about my status.

 

At that time, our concern was the house. If the bank took it away, where would we live? My main concern was my goodwill. I have all throughout my working life been safeguarding my name against bankruptcy. In that situation, I fought with my husband a lot. It was all about getting the money. Then it hit me that it was all a test. His test. All the things in my life was His. Actually. Including my body and soul. And if my marriage broke up, the satan would be very happy. I shouldn’t have worried about losing the properties. Even the house. Those were not mine anyway. I should put my faith fully in Allah and that He would take care of us.

 

So I told my husband that if we could not find the means to pay in lump sum, we could just pay a minimum amount on monthly basis. I told him that I didn’t care about the house anymore. If it was fated for us to lose the house, so be it.  Even though I have worked so hard to earn that house. I was just willing to let go.

 

I submitted myself to God. I asked for His forgiveness. I asked for His guidance. I asked for His wisdom. Finally, He paved the way for us. He gave my husband a sum of money to pay a lump sum. The whole process was smooth. My name was cleared in no time. I was so grateful for that. So so so grateful! I was also grateful that He had avoided the other creditors from reporting us. So we had to pay only that sum of money owed to the hire purchase company. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

 



Photo credit of Amir Rozaini Ahmad Rani

Yesterday was the day when Muslims around the world celebrated the Eid Ul Adha to honor the willingness of prophet Ibrahim a.s. to sacrifice his own son, Ismail. Not only that, it was also in honor of Ismail who was willing to let himself be slaughtered by his own father, for sake of Allah. In celebrating the day, Muslims would slaughter cows, goats, lambs and such to symbolise the sacrifice made by Ibrahim and Ismail. I embraced this day in remembrance of the experience I’ve had. Though I wasn’t about to lose my life nor the life of my loved ones, it was painful nonetheless. The very thought of losing the house, tainting my good name and being a bankrupt was all too daunting. But once I decided to let them all go, to be accepting, be willing, the difficult situation became easier. The burden was lifted off my shoulders. And Allah helped me settled it.

 

From that day on, I’ve had a new perspective of Eid Ul Adha. It was not about the slaughtering, but it was about the spirit behind the sacrifice. That actually, when one is willing, there is no sacrifice at all.

 

-This article was published on Wordpress October 16, 2013.

 

Reality Check

 

Earlier today the Government announced a price hike on petrol of 20 sen. So there was some chaos at the petrol stations where people queued up to get a full tank. Someone asked me to do the same. But I said “what for?”. I mean, it’s not like the price was hiked only for the night. If I filled up the tank tonight, it’ll dry up sooner or later and I still have to fill it in with the new price. Duhhh…

 

 

It was a frenzy on Facebook. Almost everyone was posting comments about it on their Walls and on their friends’ Walls and on their friends’ friends’ Walls. Most of ‘em thought of it negatively and I was playing along. There’s nothing much we can do about it, anyway. And no regrets to the Government of my choice during the General Election either. Oppss..! Did I just wrote that? Heh.

 

But let’s look at it from a different perspective. I’m no expert in economy so I’m not gonna blab about the ringgits and sens. I’m looking at it from what I’ve learned and from how I changed my own lifestyle. You see, all the while, since I started working, I would spend my salary mercilessly on unnecessary things. As my salary increased, so did my spending. I would end up having the same amount of money in my bank account year after year after year after year after year. Even though my salary increased almost very year. How did that happen?

 

When I came across this book – Secrets of The Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker, I started to realise that it was all in the ‘Blueprint’. My behavior towards money was the result of my money blueprint that I either inherited from my parents or that I sub-consciously learned from past experience. That’s how I ended up with the same amount of money in my bank account every month.

 

Since then I started to practise the principles given in that book. Finally, I got the chance to attend the seminar in December last year and it was an amazing experience! I started to practise even more. I still had the same amount of money in my bank account. BUT! Yes, there is a ‘BUT’ I also have some money in my savings account. At the same time, I have some money for donations, too. Now, is that good or good?

 

The guiding principle is to divide the net income into 6 parts : 50%, 10%, 10%, 10%, 10% and 10%. Here’s the breakdown:

50% is called the Necessity Account. This is where I got to spend on my necessities – meals, groceries, parkings, toll fees, fuel, school fees, tuition fees, rents, etc.

 

The first 10% is called the Financial Freedom Account (FFA a/c). This is where got to use the money for my retirement years. I will invest the amount in fixed deposits, Unit Trusts, savings accounts & such. The principle here is to treat the amount as the ‘Golden Goose’ that lays the golden eggs. You should never ‘kill’ the Golden Goose. That means you can’t spend the principal investment. It’ll be better if you don’t spend on the bonuses and profits either. Just re-invest so that you’ll have more golden eggs.

 

 

 

The second 10% is called the Long Term Saving to Spend Account (LTSS a/c). This is where I got to spend for something that I want in the near future. For example I am now saving for myself and my family to perform Umroh next year (if God’s willing). So I will keep this 10% in the Hajj savings account. If you wish to buy something expensive, like a house or a car or an iPad then you can use the money from this account. You can also use this account to settle off your debts bit by bit. For example, start with paying for one of your credit card bills. Finish it off then start to pay off the other.

 

The third 10% is called the Education Account. We don’t usually spend for our own self development. Of course sometimes we will buy the motivational books, listen to motivational CDs and all but that’s it. We don’t really invest in our own self-development. We were too busy doing and performing for others. So use the money in this account to go to seminars, trainings, conventions, buy home study courses, etc that would benefit us in the long run. Every month, this account must be emptied. I have, for the past one year, spent a lot on seminars by paying monthly instalment, using this account.

The fourth 10% is called the Play Account. We spent as little for ourselves as we spent for our own self-development. Sometimes we spent for clothings or maybe a spa treatment. But those were off the cuff spending. This account would give us the privilege to pamper ourselves, to reward ourselves for all the hard work and to let off some steam. So I will use the money from this account to buy things that would make me happy. I will spend all the money from this account on a monthly basis.
The fifth 10% is called the Give Account. We have to spend all the money from this account for donations either in cash or kind. This is how we should thank God for all the money that He has given us.

So there…that’s how I spend my money nowadays. So I will keep my expenses just within those percentages. If my necessities become more than 50%, I can adjust it to as much as 60%. But that’s about it. Actually the most you can go is 70% but that’ll make the other ‘Accounts’ suffer with less amount. The most important thing is, I need to be realistic with my spending. I need to be more prudent. If I can’t stretch my necessity account any more, then I will have to do some re-adjustment. Perhaps reduce my spending.

I’ve just started this from the beginning of this year. It takes a lot of discipline and self-reminder. It takes a lot of courage to fight off that urge to spend mercilessly because the old habit of thinking “it’s my money, so I deserve to spend it” is still there. By end of the day, I realised that it’s all about inculcating new habits. I have to keep on reminding myself to put in a ringgit or my lose coins in the FFA jar every day. And slowly but surely, I am now settling some of my debts so that my personal commitments to the banks is reduced by almost 70% in the next three (3) years!

When we have this new habit kicks in, we won’t be in such a knee jerk reaction or a panicky state when some costs go up or some subsidies were withdrawn or some new expenses came along. We won’t get so frustrated and become so violent. We just have to make some reality checks along the way.

-This article was published on Wordpress September 3, 2013