Past, Present and Future

After being mersmerised and in daze for a few days, I wrote this on Facebook:-

Each and every one of us has a PAST. Each and every one. It's also called HISTORY. Why? Because once upon a time families would sit around and listen to stories told by their elder ones...His story.

Some people don't want to remember their past. Mostly because it was too painful, too heartbreaking or too disappointing. So they tend to forget about it. Well, of course they would do that. Who would want to remember a painful and disheartening past, huh?

Like me. I have a lot of painful memories of the past. I put the blame on those who were involved. I even put the blame on my mother! Duhhhh....

But here's the thing.

Whatever you do, you can't change the fact that your past DID HAPPEN. Bad news, huh? Yeah, they did. Unknowingly, you are who you are today because of the incidents or events that have occurred in the past. Either you've made yourself better or worse, that was your choice. However, I am sure all of us would not want any of those to be repeated. Aye? In a way, you do have something to learn from the past. Mistakes that you did in the past, sins that you have committed, wrongdoings that you did onto other people, etc etc etc....have made you a better person today.

There are also those who are fortunate enough to have a very good past. Filled with fun, love, happiness and even success. Whether you realise that or not. Whether you accept that or not. The facts is, you HAVE CHANGED. One becomes wiser with age. Didn't the wise say that? Indeed we do become wiser as we aged.

That's why now is called the PRESENT. It is a gift for you from the yesteryears.
So you should embrace the now. Enjoy the moment of being who you are today, who is much much better than before.

Forget about thinking who you 'should've been' or 'could've been' or 'would've been' because 'should have', 'could have' and 'would have' don't exist. It was just the mind trying to trick you into believing that you could be someone else. Which is just crap. There is no such thing as should have, could have and would have! No. They don't exist.

Hang on. There's more. Guess what?

Who you are TODAY will determine who you will become in the future. Be it tomorrow, the next day, next week, next month or next year. Pick the choice. It's all yours.

Then your present will eventually become your past, in your future.

I'll say that again...

Your present will eventually become your past, in your future.

Now...if you still can't get me, here's the thing:-
The PRESENT is a gift for you FROM your past and FOR your future.

Gedit?

So....if you are still unsatisfied with who you are today, make the change. If you want your future self to become better than who you are today, change it.

Nobody is more responsible for your own self, your own life, your own happiness, your own success....than YOU.

Savvy?

And I'm only saying all these because I care.

Reflection #02

A few weeks ago a friend came to visit and stayed with us for two nights. She was from Singapore. One of our fellow Warriors. I didn't know her that well but somehow there is a connection between us and it made me feel comfortable when I'm around her.

So she came, partly because it was the Eid ul Adha. Partly because I needed her help with some healing.

I was just been discharged from the hospital two days before she came, due to bronchitis. The last time I was warded was in 2015. Somehow, I felt that my illness has nothing to do with my physical being. It was more of my mental and psychological. I was losing my way. I got lost along the way.My mind, my body and soul were fighting against each other. It made me confused. It made me sick.

Of course, there was the whole thing about my grieve to deal with.

On the second day she was here, Lina (that's her name), asked me if I wanted her to help me. So I said yeah, I do. She told me that my illness went way back to a couple of years and we have to deal with that first. We went through a few sessions of healing. I can't describe to you how and what it was. One has to experience it in order to understand.

She took off layer after layer of anger, frustration, blame, self-blame, etc and make them disappear. The most important ingredient in this healing process is that you have to be true to yourself. That is, if you really want to heal yourself from all those bad vibes.

After the sessions were completed, I felt 'lighter'. Like a 20-years of burden being lifted off my shoulders. I felt light and at the same time mersmerised. It was like..."Eh, what happened'? I didn't quite know what had hit me. But I suddenly began to realise that all those 'baggage' I have been carrying on my back have taken a toll on myself. Even though I've said it before that I have forgiven and let go, I think I have not fully did. And in those healing sessions, I did. Most importantly, I have forgiven MYSELF!

After Lina went home, I was still dazed. Seems like I have finally managed to put the past behind me. Not to forget, not to remember either, but to cherish.

Five Years in Summary

Soon, very soon, 2015 is going to leave us. And soon, very soon, 2016 will come a knocking.

Reflecting on my life the past 6 years, this is to summarise it:
2010 - Anger & Frustration
2011 - Repentance
2012 & 2013 - Sadness
2014 - Trying Hard To Forget
2015 - Peace & Coming Home

For 2016, I place my hope. So it'll be a year of Hope.

Reflection

Tonight I had the chance to reflect on my life. I mean, really reflect.

I have carried this hurt, this pain, this frustration and this disappointment for 20 years. Yes, that is a long time. In suffering those feelings, I became angry and laid it out on other people. I wasn't being a happy person. I wasn't being me. I blamed it on those who have hurt me, those whom I consider the cause of this hurt, this pain, this frustration, this disappointment. People often say "time would heal". I can't deny that. Yes, time would heal. But it took me 20 years! That was almost half my life.

I've wasted away my youth. I was trying to find 'true happiness' and yet, I led myself to being hurt one after another. Then I became a workaholic. I failed to see all the beautiful things that have happened to me along the way. I wasn't being ungrateful, no. I was only living my life on 'auto pilot' (if you know what I mean). I couldn't appreciate the life that I was living. How foolish of me.

Then, God gave me the opportunity to heal. He showed me how to find myself. Again. I am glad. Because then I was able to really get it into my head and my heart that all these while, it wasn't those people who made my life miserable. It was me. I failed to understand that it was all fated. Written in my Book long before I was put into my mother's womb. I know about it, but I failed to make my thoughts and my feelings understand it. But since God has opened my heart to Him, I finally do understand. The feeling was like coming out to the open after being shut in a dark room. Everything became clear to me. And I really felt like a bonehead!

As Jennifer Steed would have put it, I "came home". I am now at peace. I am myself. I am so grateful that Allah has given me this chance yet again to find my true path. Allah is the AlMighty. He made everything happen according to His Qudrah and Iradah. Indeed, He has given me everything that I NEED. And I realise that now. And I pray that He will guide me on the right path til the day I go back to Him. Insya Allah.

‪#‎AllahKnowsBest‬

Soul Search

I have to admit, ever since I quit my job in December 2014, I have been a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM). I send my kids to school, pick them up, do the laundry and cook.

Day after day, it becomes monotonous. Most of the time I'll be wondering what to cook because I've been cooking the same dish day after day. However, I am grateful that my husband and my kids are not picky eaters. They will eat whatever I serve on the table. Though sometimes they will request what dish they want me to cook. And I would oblige.

I have also been praying and reading the Al Quran. A realisation came to me when I was warded in the hospital on the second day of Ramadhan. I realised that I have not been a good servant. When I was working, I didn't take care of my prayers. Most of the time I didn't complete the five times.

But since Ramadhan, I have been praying and reading the Al Quran so much that I think I prayed and read the Al Quran verses more in these few months than I ever did in the past years. How ignorant can I be, huh?

Apart from that, I have also been very grateful for what I have in life and I'll tell God that I am grateful. Even though I now have less money than I had before, I think now I have what I haven't had before (or what I haven't been truly grateful for) and that is my family.

It's All A Mind's Work

I have experimented with FB for quite a while. I found that postings of anger, frustrations, sadness, etc that portray negativity would usually gain higher response than postings of happiness, gratefulness, positives, etc. Save for Birthday wishes or Anniversary wishes. Then again, this is how I look at things. You may have looked at them from a different perspective.
You see, this is one of the most important lessons in life. There are no two persons who will look at things EXACTLY the way we look at them. And this is NORMAL. It is normal...from the things that I've learned. But I don't think most people understand this.

Out of all the lessons learned for the past two months, this is the most important one : that it is ALL IN THE MIND. I mean, really. What else is there? How I look at things is exactly what I think of it at that point of time. How you look at things is exactly what you think of it at that point of time. Else why are brain dead people considered as being dead or a 'vegetable'? The mind thinks and these thoughts are manifested in many many many many many many many many ways depending on so many variables - such as upbringing, environment, 'knowledge', 'expertise'. And I think that is also how different I am not only from the person sitting next to me, but also from others in the neighbourhood, in other States, in other countries. That is also how different you are, from me.

I have known for sometime now that I can actually be anywhere I want to be, in my mind. Because I read books a lot, I can go anywhere in the world. In my mind. And I said that previously because I have no means of going abroad like other fortunate people could. Never did I realise that what I thought was true. I could be anywhere I want to be or anyone I want to be, in my mind. And that if I practise the mind power techniques I could, sooner or later, actually be in that place! I have actually experienced that, not knowing that it was the mind at work.

I've learned that the mind is the most powerful instrument that I could ever have. And it is mine. No one can claim that from me. No one can take it away from me. No one can force me into giving it away. They can torture me, yes, they can. But they can't force it out of me. Do you think anyone can take your mind away from you? So that makes me reflect back to all those years of suffering, heartbreaks, frustrations, sadness, etc. and how I have managed to come back to life. It's all in my mind. If I didn't think of them as suffering, heartbreaks, frustrations and sadness, I wouldn't have to endure them at all. I thought that is life. But is it?

That's where I'm heading towards now. To make my life a better life to live just from learning how to master my mind. It's not easy...but it will be easy, once I master it.

Celebrate!!

I went to a training camp in September of 2014. It was a 5-days' camp. I'll tell you all about it in my next post, tomorrow.

All in all, I realised that the one thing missing from most of our lives is to celebrate every little achievement. We'd usually celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, engagements and such. But we failed to celebrate the small little achievements on daily basis.

I'm now teaching my kids to celebrate their achievements, every day. How do we celebrate? Well, we will get into a circle, put our hand on each other's shoulder and jump up and down while shouting "Yay!!". There is a reason why we do that. I'll tell you in the post about that camp, tomorrow.

For the past three days, I'm celebrating the achievements of my headscarf sales. Only one, per day. But that is a big thing for me. So I celebrated all the three wins, tonight. I even wrote them down in my journal.

Why don't you start to celebrate your wins?

Moving On

2012 and 2013 were not good years for me. Abah and Mak (my father and my mother) left me for good, respectively. In fact, half of my adolescent and adult life were not good for me because I was still harping on the past. Hanging on to those heartbreaks and frustrations. I was carrying the burden of those yesteryears. I became angry and revengeful.

Then I spent half of 2014 missing my Mak and Abah terribly. I still do (will always do). I won't even hear of people trying to take away their things. Their belongings. But I have decided to move on. I have decided to let go of the sadness. Let go of the anger, the revenge. I feel soooooo much better now. And I'm looking forward to a brand new life. I'm looking forward to 2015. This new year will be the year for me to rebuild my life.

I'm moving on. I'm moving on.

I am the Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul

I just love this poem. It was written by William Ernest Henley (1849–1903) in 1875. It was given the title "Invictus" by Arthur Quiller-Couch (no date reference given). This poem was read by Morgan Freeman in the film "Invictus". Invictus is Latin for 'unconquered".

 I'd read it every time I started doubting myself. I especially like the last two verses.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

The Leader In Me

I am a second child. I grew up learning that a second child is best being a follower than a leader. Compared to first child whom they say are naturally born leaders. So I carried that picture throughout my life. I was never good at leading a team. I felt I was only good when I work alone and on my own. That’s what I was ingrained to believe.

 

Then I made a dash at attending this Ultimate Leadership Certification camp in September this year. It was a 5-days’ camp. I thought this is going to be a breakthrough for me. Or perhaps trying to prove myself that I am worthy of being a leader. That camp was so intense that I broke down on the third day. I couldn’t take it anymore. What’s the point? I didn’t think I fare very well with my teammates. I missed my kids terribly at that time. All I could think of was to pack up and leave. Then a dear friend of mine convinced me to stay on. I mean, I’ve actually learned this from the very beginning of my journey with Success Resources – that we don’t just GET to the finish line, we go THROUGH the finish line. So I stayed. By end of the camp, I got my certificate and I got something else too…my COURAGE.

 

Throughout the camp, I always have the same thought that I wasn’t good at being a leader. Never was. Never will. But they gave me a chance. Every once in a while in the activities, I was made to lead the team. The crux of the matter was not about the activity or the game itself but it was about how I conducted myself as a leader of the team. The moment I came back from the camp, the first thing I thought to myself was “To be a leader, I have to be able to lead myself first. So what was it that I’ve been wanting to do?”.  And that’s when I made the decision to quit from my job.

 

I’ve actually done the same feat back in 2010. But then, it was for the wrong reasons. I quit my job then, for the wrong reasons. And I wasn’t ready to take actions. Now I am confident that I made the right decision. I am ready to DO WHATEVER IT TAKES to succeed as a working-from-home mom.

 

I’m doing this for my family and I’m doing this for myself. I’ve been wanting to work on my own for ages but I didn’t have the guts to do so. Now is the chance. If I don’t do this now, I’ll never do it at all. I’ve invested a lot of money to build myself up. I’m not going to waste all that for doing nothing! I’m going to take charge of my own life from now on. I’m going to lead myself to success.

 

What ever the odds are, I will take it on. I pray that God will always give me the strength and the courage to keep moving on. Insya Allah.

  

-This article was published on Wordpress November 11, 2014.

 

Sacrifice, what?

A few years ago, I experienced a very difficult time in my life. I didn’t have a job yet I had so much financial commitments, too heavy a burden for my husband to carry alone. Day by day tension gripped our lives and the situation became worse. I had to borrow lots of money from family and friends just to ensure that the companies didn’t file bankruptcy against me. I became hostile towards my husband because I thought that he was unable to fend for us. When actually it was all my fault. My own doing.

 

When things got better and I was able to manage my financials, all of a sudden I was declared a bankrupt by a hire purchase company because the borrower defaulted his payment. I was the sole guarantor. It was a very frustrating episode. Very frustrating. To think that I had done all I could to avoid being made a bankrupt then suddenly I became one and it was not even my fault! I couldn’t accept it at first. I was frustrated. Angry. Furious! Especially at my husband. I didn’t tell anyone about it because I didn’t want my parents to know. Bankruptcy was a taboo for them. So I kept on praying for Allah to show me the way. To get me (get us) out of the situation. I had two options i.e. to pay a lump sum and clear my name before the other creditors found out OR to pay in monthly instalment for a certain period of time and let the other creditors found out about my status.

 

At that time, our concern was the house. If the bank took it away, where would we live? My main concern was my goodwill. I have all throughout my working life been safeguarding my name against bankruptcy. In that situation, I fought with my husband a lot. It was all about getting the money. Then it hit me that it was all a test. His test. All the things in my life was His. Actually. Including my body and soul. And if my marriage broke up, the satan would be very happy. I shouldn’t have worried about losing the properties. Even the house. Those were not mine anyway. I should put my faith fully in Allah and that He would take care of us.

 

So I told my husband that if we could not find the means to pay in lump sum, we could just pay a minimum amount on monthly basis. I told him that I didn’t care about the house anymore. If it was fated for us to lose the house, so be it.  Even though I have worked so hard to earn that house. I was just willing to let go.

 

I submitted myself to God. I asked for His forgiveness. I asked for His guidance. I asked for His wisdom. Finally, He paved the way for us. He gave my husband a sum of money to pay a lump sum. The whole process was smooth. My name was cleared in no time. I was so grateful for that. So so so grateful! I was also grateful that He had avoided the other creditors from reporting us. So we had to pay only that sum of money owed to the hire purchase company. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

 



Photo credit of Amir Rozaini Ahmad Rani

Yesterday was the day when Muslims around the world celebrated the Eid Ul Adha to honor the willingness of prophet Ibrahim a.s. to sacrifice his own son, Ismail. Not only that, it was also in honor of Ismail who was willing to let himself be slaughtered by his own father, for sake of Allah. In celebrating the day, Muslims would slaughter cows, goats, lambs and such to symbolise the sacrifice made by Ibrahim and Ismail. I embraced this day in remembrance of the experience I’ve had. Though I wasn’t about to lose my life nor the life of my loved ones, it was painful nonetheless. The very thought of losing the house, tainting my good name and being a bankrupt was all too daunting. But once I decided to let them all go, to be accepting, be willing, the difficult situation became easier. The burden was lifted off my shoulders. And Allah helped me settled it.

 

From that day on, I’ve had a new perspective of Eid Ul Adha. It was not about the slaughtering, but it was about the spirit behind the sacrifice. That actually, when one is willing, there is no sacrifice at all.

 

-This article was published on Wordpress October 16, 2013.

 

It's been 41 years

I'd always love 20th September. Because on this day...back in 1969...I was born! Today, is already 41 years of my living. Wow! Time sure flies, huh?

Looking back to all those years, I feel grateful that my life has always been blessed with the good things. I have two great 'teachers' as my parents and three intelligent and bright brothers. Though I don't have any sisters, I don't feel it's a handicap. I'm proud, actually...to be the only daughter. I have a lot of cousin sisters...to fill in the gap.

Come to think of it, I was a happy child...a beaming teenager...a miserable adolescent and a not too happy adult. But I guess everyone's got their own share of life eh? Nonetheless, I am grateful for what has been given to me all these while.

But now that I have passed that 40 years' mark, I feel something is brewing inside. Some people say when you come to the age of 40, you would either change for the better or for the worse. I'm hoping that I will change for the better. Yes, I've made mistakes...I've erred. Not so much because I am human...but I am destined to. From those mistakes I learned to be a better human. I became who I am today. A bit wiser and a bit smarter, I guess.

If you ask me, the most unforgettable moment in my life was when I defied my mother to be with the one I love...and to found out that he was not who I thought he was. But Mak was still willing to accept me for my lack of judgement.

The memory that I was mostly fond of, is of course when I saw my baby coming out from my womb, for the first time. That 'thing' which I carried for 9 months. I felt the same when Rafique was born. The sole heir to the family of Rosli Asnawi. I think only those who have given birth could share the same sentimental feeling.

I am indeed grateful for all the blessings that Allah has given me. Most importantly, He is always there to help me find my way back to the right path. Thank You, Allah...for giving me the chance to breathe and walk on this earth as Your humble servant.

"Dear God, I thank Thee...for all the good things that you have given me all these while; for the health that You have bestowed upon me so that I could look after those under my care; for the strength to pick myself up after every 'battle'; for the sadness and sorrow...so that I will always treasure those happy moments; for the tests and endurance...to make sure that I will always come back to the right path. And I thank Thee...for giving me the chance to live as a Muslim...Please allow me to go back as a Muslim too. A better one, that is.

God...please forgive me for all the sins that I have done to Thee...to all human kinds...and to all living things. Please forgive me for all the wrong doings that I have committed, be it in my actions, my words or my writings. I know You will never give up on me. Only to Thee, I ask for forgiveness, only to Thee I seek for guidance and only to Thee I put on my hope. For You are Most Gracious and Most Merciful. Amiiin Ya Rabbal'alamiiinnn".

And I'd take this opportunity to pen my apologies to my family, my friends and all my Blog readers...should you feel offended by my writings or by me, personally. Sometimes they are not intentional...but sometimes they are.

Sincerely,

Zade

It's SEPTEMBER!!

Yeay!! It's September!!!

Why am I so happy about September? Four things:

1. The last 9 days of Ramadhan would end in September;
2. The Eid-ul Fitri will be celebrated in September;
3. Malaysia Day will be celebrated for the 1st time this year and it falls on Sept 16; and
4. I'll be celebrating MY BIRTHDAY in September...along with a few friends and family members.

I was doubly happy last year...because for the first time in my life, I celebrated my birthday on the first day of Eid-ul Fitri. That's never gonna happen again...I guess. But nonetheless, this year it's still in the month of Syawal. I'll rejoice that anyway.

I sincerely hope that good things would come my way this month. And I hope the same to all of you out there too. Regardless of who you are or where you're from or what religion you are, I wish you all the best. Since this is already the ninth month of 2010, I hope that you'd achieve your objectives for the 3rd Quarter of the year. Whatever those objectives might be. Personal or work.

Do you know, that...

• September is one of the four Gregorian months with 30 days.
• September in the Southern Hemisphere is equivalent to March in the Northern Hemisphere.
• September begins on the same day of the week as December...every year.
• September 19 is International Talk Like A Pirate Day
• September 21 is the International Day of Peace
• September 20 is my birthday

HAPPY NEW MONTH, EVERYONE!!

Aku Bersyukur

Dua tiga bulan kebelakangan ni aku banyak berfikir & merenung kembali perjalanan hidup aku. Dan aku rasa sejak beberapa tahun ini itulah satu perkara yang sudah sangat jarang aku buat...berfikir tentang kehidupan dan mengenali diri sendiri. Kerana aku menjadi taksub dengan kerja dan dengan anak-anak. Ya, itulah dua benda yang ada dalam kepala otak aku sejak beberapa tahun...

Tak heranlah kalau selama ni aku rasa seolah-olah jiwa aku tak tenang...macam ada yang kureng...seolah-olah ada yang berkocak. Dan kocakan itu menjadi semakin galak sejak pertengahan tahun 2008 hingga menjadi lebih bergelora sepanjang tahun 2009. Pengisian jiwa itu tidak sepenuh seperti yang sebelum-sebelumnya. Apakah aku menyalahkan pekerjaan & perkahwinan? Oh, tidak sama sekali. Usahlah disalah tafsir. Secara khususnya aku kira ini semua berlaku kerana aku menjadi alpa dan taksub. Ya...kealpaan dan ketaksuban itulah yang menjadikan aku antara orang-orang yang menzalimi diri aku sendiri. Biarpun Tuhan masih tidak putus-putus mengalirkan kasih dan sayangNya kepadaku.

Dan akhirnya, apabila jiwa itu sendiri yang menjerit minta diisi, apabila jiwa itu sendiri menjadi lelah dengan permainan duniawi, apabila jiwa itu sendiri menjadi letih, penat dan lesu dengan pergelutan demi pergelutan yang harus dilalui...maka aku mengambil langkah yang drastik (sesetengahnya mengatakan aku 'bodoh') lalu meninggalkan dunia korporat yang selama ini menjadi sanjunganku. Pangkat...yang menjadi idamanku sejak beberapa tahun. Gaji....yang agak lumayan berjumlah hampir RM10,600.00; hasil penat lelah selama hampir 10 tahun 'menghambakan' diri kepada sebuah syarikat dan juga impianku sejak lebih 19 tahun menyandang gelaran 'pekerja pejabat'. Kutinggalkan semuanya. Gila? Katakan saja aku "gila"...omongkan saja aku "bodoh"...bisikkan saja aku "rugi". Namun bagiku itu semua tidak bererti.

Untuk dijadikan musabab, timbullah soal pendengki-pendengki yang berhasrat untuk menjatuhkan aku. Dan terus-terang aku katakan di sini...itu semua hanyalah satu faktor penyumbang sahaja, bukanlah penyebab utama mengapa aku berhenti kerja. Malah aku sebenarnya berterima kasih kepada faktor penyumbang itu kerana secara langsung ianya telah memberikan satu 'booster' kepada jeritan batinku (jiwa aku yang menjerit) hingga aku mengambil langkah yang sepatutnya.

Bukan hendak menyombong diri. Tetapi tidak sekelumitpun timbul rasa kesal di dalam hati ini. Kerana apa? Kerana itulah yang dikehendaki oleh jiwaku selama ini. Bebas dari kekangan ketaksuban duniawi. Dan aku bersyukur...sangat bersyukur...kerana kini aku berpeluang untuk mencari semula diriku yang 'hilang'. Aku kembali menjadi diriku yang 10 tahun dulu telah tersorok dan terperok di sudut diri seorang 'ahli keparat'.

Memang benar, segalanya perlukan wang walaupun wang itu bukanlah segalanya. Tetapi, salahkah kalau aku katakan bahawa aku berpegang pada hakikat "Tiada Tuhan Melainkan Allah dan Muhammad Itu Adalah PesuruhNya"? Mungkin ramai yang tercengang-cengang...tidak mengerti atau kurang memahami. "Seek and you shall find". Mengikut natijahnya kisah Nabi Ayub a.s. dan juga kisah Nabi Musa a.s. yang bertemu dengan Nabi Khidir a.s....begitulah susur yang aku ambil sekarang.

Dan aku bersyukur...sangat bersyukur. Pemberian Allah itu sangat luas dalam tafsirannya yang tersendiri. Alhamdulillah...Alhamdulillah...Alhamdulillah...

Allah Maha Besar

Ini aku nak sharing sket pasal kejadian beberapa malam sebelum ni.

Al-kisahnya aku terkurung kat dalam bilik, tak boleh nak keluar. Anak-anak aku yang dua orang tu pulak ada kat luar bilik. Handphone aku pun ada kat luar. Masa tu lebih kurang pukul 9 malam. Tak tau la apa hal, tombol pintu tu walaupun boleh dipusing tapi selaknya tak nak terbuka. Dah jem. Pintu tu pulak jadi ketat, tak boleh langsung nak digegar-gegar.

Lama gak try...siap suruh Kakak tolong buat dari luar. Dah agak lama tak leh jugak, aku pun mengantuk...so aku pun sempatlah tertidur sekejap. Dah terjaga tu, cuba lagi. Tak boleh juga. Aku tau, memang tak de cara lain lagi dah ni. Mesti kena ada orang tolong bukak dari luar. Suruh Kakak ambik kunci bilik kat atas rak buku kat luar tu, dia tak sampailah pulak. Handphone tu pulak ada 'lock'...camana nak ajar dia 'unlock' kalau dia tak reti lagi nak baca keypad tu. Allah...camana nak buat ni.

So aku pun solat. Kebetulan belum solat Isya' lagi... Lepas solat aku pun bermohon pada Allah supaya tolong keluarkan aku dari bilik tu dan kesiankan anak-anak aku kat luar tu. Bila dah siap, aku diilhamkan untuk ambik cota yang tergantung kat tingkap bilik (sebelum tu tak terpikir pun nak guna cota tu)...dan without thinking, pecahkan tombol pintu tu. Rafique meraung-raung kat luar sebab takut bunyi kuat tu. Selak pintu tu masih juga tak tertanggal walaupun tombol tu dah ranap aku kerjakan. But at least...syukur Alhamdulillah...Kakak boleh hulur handphone kat aku melalui celah lubang tu! So aku dapat call husband aku, yang kebetulannya dah habis kerja. Masa tu dah tengahmalam rupanya! Patutlah Rafique menangis-nangis suruh aku keluar. Dia ingat aku sengaja tak nak bukak pintu bilik tu.

Dia sampai rumah lebih kurang pukul 12.40pagi. Macam-macamlah kitorang buat untuk nak bukak pintu tu...akhirnya lebih kurang pukul 2.16pagi barulah pintu tu boleh dibuka. Dan aku mintak maaf sangat-sangatlah pada jiran aku sebab gerenti tidurnya kurang lena malam tu with all those rackets. Syukur Alhamdulillah.....Allah Maha Besar yang memberi aku pertolongan dan yang memakbulkan doa aku dalam jangkawaktu yang singkat macam tu.

Inilah rupa pintu bilik setelah di'kerja'kan:

Alhamdulillah...(Too Phat, Dian Sastro and Yassin)