A Helping Hand

I took my kids for ice skating yesterday. That was the first time for me and them. I thought it was fairly easy, because I used to roller skate, but it wasn't! So I just hang on to the sides and never dared to move to the center. Finally, I stopped and quit. But while I was trying to move along the side, there were people who held out their hands to help me move forward. When I had to go over someone else, hands were offered to help me find my balance and keep moving. I never knew those people.

My daughter, like me, was very scared. She watched others fall down so she became afraid. And she too, hang on to the sides. Then there was a half-hour break when they clean the rink, we had to get out. After the break, my daughter picked up her courage to move to the center. She fell down many times until her clothes were drenched wet. But she had fun.

While I watched the rink from the outside, I saw that whenever someone fell down, there's always someone else to help them get up. Friends and strangers alike helped others when they were in need. Even those who were still new, extended their helping hands to others and sometimes, they fell down together. It was hilarious.

My daughter being assisted

But two great things I learned from that sight:
1. We should never be afraid to fall down. What's most important is, whenever we fall down, we have to get back up.
2. Whenever we fall down, there will always be a helping hand to help us get back up. So we should never be afraid.

So I'll take this learning for my next skating trip. That, I challenge myself. I will also teach my kids about this new learning.

Moving On

2012 and 2013 were not good years for me. Abah and Mak (my father and my mother) left me for good, respectively. In fact, half of my adolescent and adult life were not good for me because I was still harping on the past. Hanging on to those heartbreaks and frustrations. I was carrying the burden of those yesteryears. I became angry and revengeful.

Then I spent half of 2014 missing my Mak and Abah terribly. I still do (will always do). I won't even hear of people trying to take away their things. Their belongings. But I have decided to move on. I have decided to let go of the sadness. Let go of the anger, the revenge. I feel soooooo much better now. And I'm looking forward to a brand new life. I'm looking forward to 2015. This new year will be the year for me to rebuild my life.

I'm moving on. I'm moving on.

I am the Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul

I just love this poem. It was written by William Ernest Henley (1849–1903) in 1875. It was given the title "Invictus" by Arthur Quiller-Couch (no date reference given). This poem was read by Morgan Freeman in the film "Invictus". Invictus is Latin for 'unconquered".

 I'd read it every time I started doubting myself. I especially like the last two verses.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

Self Regulating

Almost every day I'd read news about accidents. Sadly, most of them involved fatalities. Sometimes they were reported as speeding, sometimes because of road conditions, sometimes because of negligence. It was sad, reading those news. Heart wrenching, even, to look at the gruesome photos.

When I was driving around, I think I'd know why accidents happen. Like for example, one car skidded and hit the road barrier. All on its own. How? Why did that not happen to other cars? On rainy days, while driving along the highway, more often than not I'd see a few cars involved in accidents - bumper to bumper. Sometimes on its own. How? Why?

I can also see a lot of motorcyclists speeding, not wearing helmets, go against the red lights, go against the traffic and overtake on left side instead of right. On the highway, I'd see them following closely behind lorries (especially), I think because they wanted to get away from the wind.

To me, most of the accidents occurred because of negligence. Either negligence of the second party or the first party. Of course, nobody 'wanted' to get involved in accidents. But without realising, their behaviours tend to increase the risk of getting into fatal accidents. Speeding caused fatality when involved in accidents. I'm not good at physics, but I would think that when something is moving fast, it would definitely create bigger impact when it hits on something. 

Apart from speed, not wearing helmets could contribute to fatality when involved in accidents because your head is not protected. So would going against the red lights, so on and so forth. Yet when accidents happened, people blame the authorities for not being able to take proper actions or their lack of initiatives to prevent accidents from happening.

I don't deny the fact that our roads can be very dark at night. Then again, if it's dark, we should drive carefully according to the speed limit. Below, not beyond. What I mean to say is....we should be able to self-regulate ourselves. We know the rules and regulations of driving and riding a motor vehicle the moment we took driving classes for the driving license. So everyone who has a valid driving license should already know the rules and regulations. But the trend is, as long as there is no police officer then we can go against the rules.

Picture a four-junction without traffic lights. See how chaotic the traffic can be at peak periods. That's exactly how chaotic the road is if people just simply refused to abide by the rules. The way I look at it, a person of integrity would follow the rules no matter where he/she is. And following the rules might save your live, the lives of your loved ones and the lives of other road users.

I'd say "Self Regulating Starts From Me".

The Leader In Me

I am a second child. I grew up learning that a second child is best being a follower than a leader. Compared to first child whom they say are naturally born leaders. So I carried that picture throughout my life. I was never good at leading a team. I felt I was only good when I work alone and on my own. That’s what I was ingrained to believe.

 

Then I made a dash at attending this Ultimate Leadership Certification camp in September this year. It was a 5-days’ camp. I thought this is going to be a breakthrough for me. Or perhaps trying to prove myself that I am worthy of being a leader. That camp was so intense that I broke down on the third day. I couldn’t take it anymore. What’s the point? I didn’t think I fare very well with my teammates. I missed my kids terribly at that time. All I could think of was to pack up and leave. Then a dear friend of mine convinced me to stay on. I mean, I’ve actually learned this from the very beginning of my journey with Success Resources – that we don’t just GET to the finish line, we go THROUGH the finish line. So I stayed. By end of the camp, I got my certificate and I got something else too…my COURAGE.

 

Throughout the camp, I always have the same thought that I wasn’t good at being a leader. Never was. Never will. But they gave me a chance. Every once in a while in the activities, I was made to lead the team. The crux of the matter was not about the activity or the game itself but it was about how I conducted myself as a leader of the team. The moment I came back from the camp, the first thing I thought to myself was “To be a leader, I have to be able to lead myself first. So what was it that I’ve been wanting to do?”.  And that’s when I made the decision to quit from my job.

 

I’ve actually done the same feat back in 2010. But then, it was for the wrong reasons. I quit my job then, for the wrong reasons. And I wasn’t ready to take actions. Now I am confident that I made the right decision. I am ready to DO WHATEVER IT TAKES to succeed as a working-from-home mom.

 

I’m doing this for my family and I’m doing this for myself. I’ve been wanting to work on my own for ages but I didn’t have the guts to do so. Now is the chance. If I don’t do this now, I’ll never do it at all. I’ve invested a lot of money to build myself up. I’m not going to waste all that for doing nothing! I’m going to take charge of my own life from now on. I’m going to lead myself to success.

 

What ever the odds are, I will take it on. I pray that God will always give me the strength and the courage to keep moving on. Insya Allah.

  

-This article was published on Wordpress November 11, 2014.