3 Years Ago...Today

The first time we heard his voice, it was 5th of June, 2007 (050607). His birth was very much awaited. Especially by my husband, because he's been longing for a son after 3 girls from his previous marriage and Atiqah. This one was 2 days ealier than the due date.

When I went into the Labour Room that day and they had me checked, the contractions were already up to the max. The Doc advise me to be warded 'cause she's afraid the stitches would come off because I just had a baby the previous year. Still. she gave me the option to go for normal labour or ceasarean. After discussing it over, I decided to go for another ceasar 'cause I was having a rather bad cough then. I was afraid that I'd have asthma attack during labour...and delivering in a private hospital...normal + operations = a bomb!

While waiting, we discussed on the name. I thought of Putera Muhammad Afiq but then my husband wanted to have his name represented. So we opted for Rafique, which means 'Pendamping'...(what would the best English translation be? I wonder...). So that he'll be the company for the 'chosen one' (Atiqah). I remembered at that time my cousins were all having a good time in Italy...and they suggested 'Rafael'. But we've already settled on Rafique. As it turned out...he was born to be Muhammad Rafique Putra.

This time around, I got the operations on video! The aesthetician recorded it for me. I watched it with the kids sometime ago and they were appalled that a baby came out from Ummi's stomach. It wasn't a good experience because this time I was aware of what's going on...compared to previously, when it was in a state of 'emergency'. So the procedures seemed to be very long. During the operations, when the Doctor was trying to pull his head out, one of the nurses had to 'climb' on top of me and pushed my stomach with her hands...and I was like "Oh My God! What was she doing?"...I was hardly out of breath.

Then I found out that Rafique's little head was a bit bigger for the stitches that the Doctor made based on the previous one. But finally, I think it was about 3.24pm...my little boy was born. And I saw it on the OT lights too. He was bulky (with all the blankets around him) and squirmy.

This second time wasn't too painful. I got to get up of bed on my own the next day...and walked around a bit. Then when we got home, I could sit on the sofa with not so much pain. But the baby...oh...he was a loud one. Always crying...couldn't be left alonw at all. And the sister, was such a doting sister, even at 1 year old...already wanted to give the bottle to her little bro by herself. And she won't let me sleep with the baby during confinement...she was jealous. She was all excited when we showed her the baby at the hospital, but when we took the baby home...she was crying and pointing at the baby...Maybe she was asking "What's that thing doing in my house? What is that? Who's is that?"...

After a while, it was okay. She finally got used to having a little brother. I regret that I lost a clipping of her patting the brother's back just like we used to, to make him burp. And she actually did that...she turned the brother on his stomach and patted him on the back...hard! While she was laughing...

Rafique was a handsome baby...a handsome kid...and now, a handsome boy. Sometimes overshadowed by his sister. But nonetheless, he's very observant. He picked up things fast...sometimes faster than the sister. He's a bit spoilt (manja) even though I didn't train him to be one but perhaps he picked that up from his Ummi. You know...

I would wish for him to grow up and take care of his sister...always! And for him to master the Arabic and Mandarin languages. He'd become a very successful entreprenuer, one that is kind and generous to the needy.

To my little Rafique...Ummi loves you no matter what!

- Ummi -

Parenting. Actually...

This post has got everything to do with the previous one that I just posted. Because when I was a teenager, I hated what my parents did to me. The pressure to study hard, the discipline, the over-protectiveness, the expectations... Yeah, I could still remember all those until today. They would become harder during the important exams' years...SRP (Form 3) and SPM (Form 5).

But 20 years ago I started to understand what parenting is all about...and I began to appreciate what my parents did. The pressure, the discipline, the protectiveness. And since I am a parent myself now, I'd wish I could replicate what they did onto my own children...with the hope that they'd grow up to become someone like me.

Yup, they pressured me to study hard 'cause they wanted me to have good grades. They instilled the discipline on me so that I would value time...'cause there's always time for everything....time for study, time for play, time for TV, time for makan, etc. They were protective of me because they didn't want me to waste my youth on un-necessary things. But they couldn't have put all those things into writings then, because for sure I wouldn't understand a word they said (whether I would chose to understand or not...perhaps).

So what was all that about, actually? They basically taught me how to survive. Survive? Yes...survive.

Because when we were in school, up to when we were in college, our lives are 'protected'. Our objectives then were to study, to pass the exams and gained our certificates. But the true form of life would only be known once we get into the 'working life' or the so-called 'adult' life. That's when we would be tested of our thinking skills, our ability to cope with hell lotta psychos and our capability to withstand the pressure.

So those who doesn't know how to survive...would eventually succumb to the pressures. They'd face failures in their life and not knowing how to resurface. And believe it or not, parenting provides us with the basic amenities that we would need when we grow up. What are those again? Education (that provides us with the ability to think logically)...discipline...withstanding the pressure...And of course, parenting needs to instill love into the souls of every children so that they'd appreciate love when they grow up.

So young-uns...before you'd even start to retaliate to what your parents say...think about this long and hard.

Story of A Teenager

I was horrified when I read this news a few days back, in Harian Metro. It's about a 16 years old, who've had sex with her schoolmates and her schoolmates' friends. In two years, she's had sex with 30 guys! And they'd do it during school time too. Astaghfirullah...!! What the hell is happening??

Hey, I was a teenager once...and a rebelious one too. I guess I gave my parents more headaches than my other siblings. And lucky for them that I was the only girl. The Malays say that taking care of a herd of cows is easier than taking care of one daughter (Jaga lembu sekandang lebih senang dari jaga anak pompuan sorang). Now, I would agree to that, no doubt.

Tell ya, there were a lot of times when I thought of running away from home...just because my father wouldn't let me go out with my friends or wouldn't let me join an after-school activity or when my mom accused me of trying to 'menggatal' (make out) with some guys. And I did run away from home...a couple of times...to my aunt's or my gramps. That's about it. Never have I thought of running away with a boy somewhere, you know. Let alone 'offering' myself to my schoolmates!

I wore tudung to school but after school I'd don the scarf. And I was a tomboy...told ya previously. But at the same time I was into rock & roll too. At that time there were Ella & The Boys...... Lefthanded...Search...Wings...and such. Akon or Miley Cyrus weren't even born yet, I guess. And yes, I listened to the music at home, much to the displeasure of my parents. I'd listen to the music (and watching the TV at the same time) while I did my homework too.

But know what? When I was in Form 3, less than 1/3 of the class knew nothing about 'sex'...and 2/3 of the class refused to let the teacher taught us anything about 'sex' 'cause we thought it's 'yucky'. There were only a handful who had read Mills & Boon (then, this romance novel was very famous)...and the rest, never even heard of the novel!

So what actually happened to that girl in the news? Why did she do what she did? Wasn't she aware of the sins...the consequences? I wonder if anyone or any organisation did any studies to find out the root cause of these problems with the youths today. Was it peer pressure... lackadaisical parenting... couldn't-care-less teachers... too much influence and exposure by the Internet... obsession with the hi-tech gadgets like handphones ('cause she mentioned that she used the money to buy to-ups for her prepaid card and a new phone)...WHAT?

And I dare not think what will happen in another 15 years to come...when my little girl would be a teenager herself. I'd dreaded those days, especially if I'm not around to see her through.

Sound of Music | Central Station Antwerp (Belgium)

It's Different

There's another way of putting it...something that goes like this "It's just not the same anymore". And what was that all about? Well, it's about the feeling that I got when I went to this Bowling Tournament organised by the company that I used to work with (my 'ex-employer' la...duhhh!!).

Not to say I was being outcasted. I knew a lot of 'em but somehow I didn't feel like I belong there...you know. Not anymore. It used to be like 'Ooohhh...that's the event I organised and I played a major role in it...' but now it was just 'an event that I went to'. What was I doing there? Duhh...my husband still works there, ok. And he was one of the kegglers. I went to support him as well as meet some 'old' friends.

But then again, it's different now. Tho' I was happy that I went. It's just...different.